Why do Kids Hate School and How to Help

November 21, 2024 byJulie Hersum

6 min to read

Father and daughter sitting in front of a laptop and studying together - Connections Academy

Many factors contribute to how children feel about school. Some are excited about the experience while others might not take to school as easily. Students can struggle to enjoy school because of factors such as underlying anxiety, learning difficulties, struggles with social interactions, or any number of reasons that make learning environments difficult.

If your student is struggling with their feelings about school, there is hope for helping them find meaning, purpose, and even joy in learning. Understanding why your child dislikes school is the key to addressing the issue.

So how can families help students shift their mindset from disliking or even hating school to finding a natural joy for school and learning?

How You Can Help Your Child Like School

First, speak with your child about their feelings to gauge what factors or underlying issues are affecting them.

Helping your child learn to like school begins with addressing the factors holding them back. Solving these problems may come down to activities you can implement at home, such as helping students practice social skills, or finding a tutor, but you may also need to work with your student’s teachers and school administration. These important resources can help find the right interventions or different learning strategies, foster better social interactions, or help create a more supportive school environment.

Here are some approaches to fostering a more positive relationship with learning and school:

Reach out to teachers and counselors.

Teachers and counselors can be your biggest ally when it comes to helping your child like school, as they may have additional insight about what your child is going through—from social dynamics to subject matter to the relationship between your student and their teacher—and may be able to help mitigate problems or motivate your child.

“Make sure that both school and home are of one accord,” stresses Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist, who’s had success with systems that motivate children and help aid with parent communications.

Embrace flexibility.

Rigorously controlled schedules don’t work for every student, especially if they struggle with learning disabilities or ADHD.

Flexibility is one of the top advantages of online school—and for good reason. It gives you and your child plenty of opportunity to arrange the day in a way that works for your child’s natural learning preferences. If they prefer getting math out of the way early in the day, or if they need a longer break in the middle of the day to pursue hobbies, volunteer work, or just to clear their head, online school can help you make that happen. By taking your child’s preferences into account, you can give them more control over their day, which can help them enjoy school more.

Uncover intrinsic motivation.

Instead of relying on external motivations such as receiving good grades or praise for their good work in school, try instead to use the power of intrinsic motivation. This can be a powerful tool to get students to find the joy in learning itself. The key is to help your student discover their passions and help them see how their day-to-day learning relates to their long-term goals.

Giving students some opportunities to determine tasks that are meaningful to them can do wonders toward building intrinsic motivation.

Why Do Kids Dislike School?

A negative attitude toward school can develop for a variety of reasons, and it can affect everything from the child’s grades to their mental health. It can also be quite frustrating for their family, who want to help their kids succeed.

Some of the more common reasons include:

Academic Difficulties

When students have trouble understanding lessons, keeping up with assignments, or performing well on tests, they can feel frustrated or overwhelmed—maybe even embarrassed—and they may start expressing a dislike for school.

School can also be especially challenging for students with ADHD or other learning disabilities who have to work extra hard at everything from navigating social interactions to focusing attention and remembering instructions.

Social Issues

School is a highly social environment, and children who experience any of the following may develop negative feelings about attending school:

Social anxiety
Trouble making friends or fitting in
Feeling excluded
Bullying or persistent teasing
Conflicts with peers, even mild ones

Boredom

Students have become less engaged with school, according to the results of a 2023 survey by Gallup and the Walton Family Foundation. While boredom itself isn’t always bad, the problem is worth looking into as complaints about being bored can be misplaced expressions of other feelings, including a lack of connection with learning preferences or the teachers themselves.

A rigid structure, long hours, strict rules, constant supervision, and lack of choice in activities or subjects can cause students to disengage or have a negative feeling about school, especially for those who thrive on expressing their creativity or who enjoy more freedom.

Other issues that can make school a stressful or unpleasant place for students include family problems at home, health issues or physical discomfort, and even cultural or language barriers.

The good news is there are strategies that can help improve their outlook.

With the right guidance and learning environment, children can overcome negative feelings about school and find that natural joy in learning that we want so much for them.

The desire to provide that guidance is why many parents choose to enroll their student in online school. To learn what other factors are leading parents to choose online school, check out our article on the 10 reasons parents are switching to virtual school.